PROSE

The Furnace Man, 1990


THE FURNACE MAN, 1990

Nate’s red hair was carefully tucked under his orange Furnace Man cap. Working five days a week, he was getting meaner with each furnace or boiler he installed. He didn’t like this meanness and told himself he needed to change.

In late October, Nate was in an old house with an unfinished basement. Most basements had block walls, but this one had cement shelf walls that were smaller than the actual house. A two-foot crawl space was all around it. Some places he enjoyed working in, but this wasn’t one of them. It was filthy.

Roxie, the woman of the house, was downright lazy. She reminded him of Babs, his wife, but Babs wasn’t that bad. Roxie sat on the couch and watched TV and smoked when she could have been picking up things. He wanted to tell her that if she picked up ten items a day, she could have the clutter removed in two weeks. A stickler for cleanliness, he and Babs had many fights about it. Babs didn’t mind leaving a basket of clean clothes in the front hall for a day or dishes in the sink from breakfast and lunch until after dinner when he would do all of them. No way. He said it would take less time to wash those dishes at 8:00 and noon because the food wouldn’t have dried, but she never listened to him. When he got home each day, he ended up cleaning for an hour or more just so he could relax in the evening.

*

Nate stood on a stepladder, his head up in the crawl space, installing a hot water pipe for the new boiler when he saw movement. The damp earth reeked of rot and decay. He waited a second to see if he’d spot it or hear it. And then he saw movement again, but he didn’t shine his flashlight back there.

“Ralph, come here,” he yelled to his buddy who was working on the Munchkin boiler.

Ralph, twenty years younger, walked in slowly.

“See if you see something.”

Ralph was the tough guy. He lifted weights on weekends. So when Ralph stepped up on the ladder that Nate had just stepped down from, he pulled his light from his belt and nonchalantly shined it in there.

“Goddamn!” He jerked his head away and jumped down. His face was white beneath his dark stubble.

“What is it?”

“Hell, it’s a snake and a damn big one,” said Ralph.

“What kind?” asked Nate.

“Damned if I know.”

Nate took off upstairs. In the kitchen, he stepped over shoes, newspapers, a banana peel, a bucket of overripe tomatoes, and a bowl with a few Cheerios and milk, like it had been left for a cat. He walked into the living room where Roxie was watching the shopping channel in her long-sleeved t-shirt. “Ma’am, did your kids ever have pets?”

She looked up and laughed. “Yup, gerbils, bunnies, kittens, salamanders, but they don’t last.”

“What do you mean?”

“They disappear. Run away, I guess.”

“Ever have a snake?”

She wrote down a number on the back of a Women’s Day magazine. He saw a desk phone under some other magazines. “Yup, a few years ago but it got away, too.”

“What kind was it?”

She looked up and said, “I don’t know. They got it from a friend.”

“I think we found it. There’s a snake in the crawl space.”

“What do you want me to do about it? That’s your job. You get it.”

He wanted to wring her neck, but he walked away and went to his truck to get the new mobile phone which Mick, his boss, had spent too much money on.

He sat in the driver’s seat and talked to Mick. “I’m not going back there until it’s gone.” He didn’t tell him that he was deathly afraid of them. When he was eighteen, working on a ranch by Laramie, he’d pulled a bale from the baler and when he was lifting it to the stack, a rattler in the bale sprang. He got bit on the right cheek and had to be taken to the hospital. He was deathly sick and his face was swollen for days with a closed right eye, and he wouldn’t bale again and couldn’t take a step in any field without getting the shakes. After that, he took a job working inside, at a creamery.

Nate and Ralph took an early lunch break. They stopped at the branch library and went to the encyclopedias. Nate turned to snakes. There were colored pictures of all kinds of them.

“It had yellow on it,” said Ralph, standing above Nate at the table.

“Let’s see. It could be a timber rattler or a Bull or a boa.” Nate ran his fingers down the page of pictures. “I didn’t hear any rattle; did you?” asked Nate.

“Nope, but it smelled,” said Ralph.

“And it was big. Look at this.” Nate pointed to the picture of the boa. “It says it can grow to 11 feet.”

“But how the hell can it live down there? What does it eat?” asked Ralph.

*

At 1:00, Mick arrived to check on their progress. When he climbed the stepladder and turned his high-powered flashlight on it, he gasped and scurried down the ladder. His face was beaded with sweat.

Roxie came down the steps. “What’s with you chickenshits?” she asked. “I want this furnace done today. It’s supposed to freeze tonight.”

“Ma’am, it won’t be done today,” said Nate.

“Do I have to call your boss and report you guys?” she asked.

Mick spoke up. “I’m the boss and I don’t want my men in danger. We don’t know if it’s poisonous.”

“Dammitt, it’s just a snake.”

“Why don’t you come here and look for it yourself,” Nate said. He motioned for her to use the stepladder.

But she walked backward up the steps and said, “I have to pick up the boys at school and take them to soccer practice. But I’ll be back in two hours and I want this done and this mess cleaned up.” She slammed the basement door on her way out.

Mick looked at them and said, “We have too many other jobs waiting for us so we can’t delay with this one. Do whatever you need to to get it out of there.”

When Ralph and Nate heard her car start up and back out, they headed upstairs and out to the truck. Nate grabbed a drill and saber saw from his toolbox and returned to the bedroom where so many clothes littered the floor that he couldn’t see the pattern on the linoleum. And it smelled of sweat and dirty underwear and old sex.

He went into the closet and pushed shoes and clothes out of the way and cleared a spot. He drilled four holes in a square, and he took the thin-bladed saw and cut out a six-inch-by-six-inch square. Then he drove to the Humane Society and picked out a mid-sized white rabbit. It was soft, and he thought it a shame to do this to it, but he had to. He put the rabbit near the hole and closed the closet door. He waited outside the door, listening, but nothing happened. It was nearly 5:00. When he heard her car drive in, he made sure the closet door was shut, packed up his tools, and went out the back door.

The next morning, she was waiting for him on the porch when he and Ralph drove up. “What’s with the damn hole?” she asked. “You’re wrecking my house and I’m going to sue your ass.”

He nodded toward her in her stained flannel bathrobe.

“Is the rabbit still there?” he asked. Ralph followed him.

“What are you talking about?” she said.

As soon as he walked into the bedroom and saw the open closet door and no rabbit, he felt shaky.

“Damnation,” Ralph hissed.

Both began looking above them and around them and when they didn’t see anything, they moved toward the basement.

“You go first,” said Ralph to Nate.

Nate didn’t know why but he zipped up his hooded sweatshirt and pulled his hood up over his cap. He started down the steps and stopped to make sure Ralph was behind him.

They both kept looking around.

“Do you want to check?” Nate asked Ralph.

“No way,” said Ralph. “You’re my boss so you have to do it.”

“You stay right here,” said Nate. He climbed the stepladder and flicked on his light.

There was nothing but a large hollowed-out cave. And when he shined the light along the rest of the crawlspace on that side of the house, he saw nothing but dirt.

“Well?” asked Ralph.

“It’s not here,” said Nate.

Ralph snorted and pointed above them. “I bet it’s up there still.”

“Could be,” said Nate, but he wasn’t sure this was better. At least he knew where the snake was when it was in that crawl space. Now he would be looking above him and over his shoulder all day.

“Let’s get this done so we can get out of here,” said Ralph. He walked to the Munchkin on the other side of the stairs and opened his toolbox.

An hour later when Nate heard screams from upstairs, he felt better. She’d spotted it. He ran up the stairs, closed the basement door, and hooked it shut. He shoved his sweatshirt underneath it. He ran downstairs and pushed the stepladder over to the hole in the ceiling. He covered it with a small piece of plywood and began pounding the nails in it.

When it was covered, he heard another scream and then pounding on the basement door. “Get up here and help me.”

He went to the bottom of the stairs and listened to her crying. He felt bad. He wanted to get that blasted boiler installed but he couldn’t do it.

“You’re not going up there, are you?” Ralph whispered.

“Don’t want to but have to.”

“Why?”

“Cause it’s the right thing to do.”

She was pounding again. “It’s moving.”

Nate stomped up the stairs.

“Come on, Ralph,” he said. “We got to do this. We’re never going to get anything done until it’s dealt with.”

Ralph was behind him when Nate unhooked the lock. In that moment she had swung open the door and he could see her tears and wild eyes.

She was squeezing herself past them and going down the steps.

“Where is it?” Nate asked.

“In there,” she pointed to the living room. “I saw it moving under the clothes. It went behind the couch.”

“Ma’am, if you go down that basement and hide, then we’re never going to get it or the furnace done.”

Ralph said, “How the hell we going to find it in this dump?”

“Don’t call it a dump,” she said.

“What is it then? I don’t know how your hubby can stand it when he comes home at night.”

“He doesn’t come home anymore. He left a month ago. Moved out.” Then she started crying again.

“We’re sorry about that. But we have to deal with this snake.”

Nate felt around his back pocket and pulled out a card from the Humane Society. He’d worn the same pair of pants from yesterday. “I’m calling them to get the number of animal control. They’ll get it.”

The three of them stood by the basement door while Nate dialed on his new-fangled phone, the size of a small brick. He’d only used it a few times. He pulled a pencil from his shirt pocket and put the card on Ralph’s back. “Don’t move,” he said. Then he dialed that number.

After he had given them the address, he added, “Get out here fast. It’s a big snake. Inside a house. There are little kids here.” He hung up.

“There aren’t any little kids,” said Ralph.

“Okay. I lied. We need them to get here fast.”

“Well, my boys are sort of little,” Roxie said. “Eight and ten.”

Nate led the way to the door of the living room. The floor was covered in clothes and food wrappers. “Wait. I’m going downstairs to grab three garbage bags from my toolbox.” He always carried bags for cleanup. They had a reputation for cleaning up their messes after installing a furnace or boiler.

He came up the stairs with a large black bag. Ralph and Roxie had inched closer to the basement door.

“Okay. We’re going in there together to clean up. Animal Control needs to see where it is.”

The three of them moved together. They were so close that Nate could smell Roxie’s sweat. Nate leaned over and grabbed a Pop-Tart box and Pringles container. Ralph grabbed a newspaper. Roxie reached for a Big Gulp plastic cup.

“Come on. We have to move faster.”

Nate moved ahead to the coffee table and reached for the dirty cups, cereal bowls and plates crusted with dried mac and cheese. He tossed them into the sack.

“What are you doing? Those are good dishes,” said Roxie.

“You can dig them out later,” he said. “I want to see the top of this table.” He put the bag at the end of the table and scraped everything into it.

Ralph had moved ahead and was grabbing dirty t-shirts and towels and socks. Roxie reached for a paperback and tucked it under her arm.

“Get a broom,” said Nate.

“It’s in the kitchen,” said Roxie.

He lifted the empty coffee table onto the couch with a balled-up orange Afghan. He and Ralph began grabbing what was underneath the table. Roxie picked up a purple bra from the floor and tossed it into the bedroom and slammed the door shut. Nate swept up a pile of junk and Roxie used a magazine as a dustpan to pick it up.

They were moving toward the recliner when the snake slipped out from behind the couch. Roxie screamed. “There,” she said, jumping onto the recliner. Nate and Ralph backed up to the front door as they watched it crawl toward the kitchen.

“Is that stove a gas one?” Ralph asked.

Roxie nodded.

“I bet it’s going toward the pilot light. Snakes like heat.”

“Don’t stop cleaning,” said Nate. And he reached for the half-full basket and began stuffing other clothes into it.

“Those were clean,” she said.

“Not anymore.”

Ralph lifted an orange Big Wheels, opened the front door, and tossed it. He grabbed the Fisher Price castle and pirate ship and a broken racket and tossed that out.

“Hey,” she called, still on the recliner. “My kids still play with those.”

“I don’t know how the hell they can play in this goddamn mess,” Ralph snipped.

Nate looked up at her still on the recliner. She was tearing up again. He thought she wouldn’t look too bad if she’d brush her hair out of her eyes.

“It just got this way since he left us.”

“Well, I can see why he left,” snapped Ralph.

“That’s enough,” Nate said to Ralph. Nate swept up another pile of junk. He had put on his work gloves. He shoved more newspapers into the almost full bag. The beat-up wood floor was almost bare.

Animal Control drove up and two men in navy blue jumpsuits came to the front door.

The heavier one carried a long pole with a hook in his hands. “Where is it?” he asked.

Nate pointed toward the kitchen.

“Behind the stove,” said Nate.

“Well, you’d better clear us a path,” said the skinnier one.

Ralph moaned. “Goddamn, I’m not a house cleaner.”

Nate took the broom and began sweeping a path with the two jump-suited men following. The snake’s tail poked out from behind the stove.

The two guys headed to the other side of the stove and motioned for Nate and Ralph to pull the stove away from the wall. On a nod from the guy with the pole, they pulled the stove out, sending an empty fry pan to the floor.

“Come here, boy,” said the skinnier one.

Nate watched the other one maneuver his pole. Soon he had the snake’s head on the hook. When he dragged it out, it was six or seven feet and there was a huge lump where the undigested rabbit was probably lodged.

The other guy lifted the end of the snake, and they carried it through the living room and out to the truck.

Roxie broke down and sat on a kitchen chair. “Oh my, it’s huge,” she mumbled. She turned to Nate and touched his arm. “Thanks.”

Nate did something he shouldn’t have but he wanted to do. He pulled another bag from his back pocket and swiped everything on the table into it. It was bare except for dried milk and pieces of Fruit Loops. “Okay. I feel better. Now let’s get this damn furnace done. It’s cold in here.”

While they worked downstairs, Nate heard sweeping upstairs. Two hours later he smelled something cooking. She walked downstairs with a paper plate with ten cookies on it. She had changed into a clean t-shirt and her hair was brushed back into a ponytail. He thought he smelled perfume.

Nate nodded. He wanted to say, I’m not eating anything made in your kitchen, but he didn’t. He kept working, trying to ignore her.

“They’re refrigerated ones. Pillsbury. I just slice them and put them on a cookie sheet. And I washed it and the knife.” She set the plate on the Munchkin boiler and stood back while he nervously looked at them, but did not take one.

She huffed and ran upstairs and returned with a greasy sheet and the plastic Pillsbury wrapping. “See.”

He touched the pan and said, “Okay. It looks sort of clean.”

The heat would probably kill the germs anyway. He took the thinnest one and ate it. It wasn’t bad so he took another one.

She stood and watched him.

“Thanks. I’m sorry about worrying about things being clean. I’m a neat freak and my wife isn’t. We fight all the time.”

She looked at him. “Maybe if you’d be sweeter to her then she’d do more. A woman wants to know she’s loved. That’s all.”

“So your hubby didn’t love you?”

“He had a girlfriend. He spent all his time at her place but came home and wanted me to put out for him, too.”

“Well, he’s a jerk. I don’t have affairs and Babs knows it.”

“But you might not make her feel she’s appreciated, you know.”

“I clean the house. That shows it.”

“No, it’s not enough. You need to buy her some chocolates,” she said.

He ate his fifth cookie. They were good. “Hell, she’s always on a diet.”

“Well, rub her feet. I make my boys rub mine. It feels so good.”

“I’ll think about it.”

When they left at 5:30, the kitchen floor was bare. She had washed up the dishes that she’d rescued. They were drying in the yellow plastic drainer. He wanted to dry them and put them away, but he held off.

The boiler was working. The house was warming up. Her boys were on the couch. The orange afghan on the back of the sofa was folded. The floor and the end table were clean.

*

That night, after he’d washed and dried the dishes, Nate went into the living room. Babs was watching TV. He sat down at the end of the couch and lifted her feet. He rubbed one foot. She looked at him strangely. “What are you doing?”

“Massaging your feet.”

“Why?”

“So you feel appreciated.”

She rolled her eyes, but she didn’t pull away. She lay back on her pillow and seemed to enjoy his fingers rubbing her instep.


TRICIA CURRANS-SHEEHAN is the author of The Egg Lady, The River Road, and co-author of a trilogy, Deep Skin. She was the editor of The Briar Cliff Review until 2023. Currans-Sheehan has published stories in VQR, Connecticut Review, South Dakota Review, Puerto del Sol, Frontiers: A Journal of Women Studies, Fiction, and other journals.


Want to read more great poetry and prose from Issue 71? Great River Review now offers individual issues for sale. You can purchase a copy of GRR 71, or a number of other back issues, here.

Bloodlesson

“bloodlesson”


bloodlesson

‘Orisa bi Iya, ko si laiye’
A god like a mother?
There is none.

(Yoruba Proverb)

*

The first time I dream of a woman torn open, it is myself in a river of blood. My body is swollen with life, eager to burst forth, refusing to stay inside. The force of a thing that does not return once it has decided to appear. Labour does not end until something descends, be it a boy or girl, neither or both, still or bouncing, crying or silent. Something must be delivered; a body does not break open for nothing.

*

Ten to twelve days after conception, a woman will bleed. Implantation bleeding, usually light pink or brown, is never enough to stain but there nevertheless. This bleeding is evidence that the newly fertilized fetus has embedded itself into the walls of its mother’s uterus. In the beginning was the blood.

*

Morenike is the last of Abebi’s four daughters. Born in a sleepy hillside in Ibadan on a Sunday morning in ‘69 to a woman whose body is well acquitted in the making of wonders: Olubukola, Ibironke, Olanrewaju and now, Morenike; brown and bursting with heat from between her mother’s legs. Thirty years later, on another Sunday morning in Ebute Metta Lagos, hours before the sun will reveal itself, Morenike is doing the same thing her mother did all those years ago: alchemising, birthing, bleeding. A girl, brown like her mother, round like her mother, breathing like her mother is ushered into this realm. Mofiyinfoluwa—fruit of the fruit of Abebi’s womb. These three women, bloodbound now and forever.

*

Whenever we talk about my grandmother, we almost, always start with her death.

*

I have always wanted children. Whether by indoctrination or by design, some part of my psyche had always taken childbirth as certainty, as right of passage, as destiny. And so when I turned twenty-two and my body began to undo itself with its own blood, my terror was two fold. A ball of blood—the scan called it a hemorrhagic cyst—nestled itself tight and deep in the curve of my left ovary, rippling pain across my body in waves, sharp and unrelenting. Endometriosis at its core is what happens when blood misses its way. A disease of displacement. Blood tissue that belongs in the uterus slithers into ovaries, fallopian tubes, bladders - and in the very worst cases - lungs, choking life out of the women whose blood does not know where to go. The pain, the sickness, the scarring; that was my first terror.

*

My grandmother was a tall woman. I know this because I have studied pictures of her like scripture: stared long and hard at her slender legs with ankles encircled in gold, her wrists stacked with bangles, her eyes framed with the most exquisite glasses. As my body bloomed into the bigness of womanhood, I became hungry to know the woman who forged my own mother—and thereby me—into being. It was Toni Morrison who told me that all water has perfect memory and is forever trying to get back to where it was; just like my blood was searching for its origin. I ran my fingers along the lace in her photographs, visited her grave—canopied by a sprawling mango tree—and asked everybody I could about her. Some days I wake up and I am overcome with a desire to run my fingers along the hands that rocked my mother to sleep, to look into the face I inherited, to witness the blood that created me.

*

I descend from women well versed in the art of alchemy. Abebi knew the exact formula to make piping hot bread that had people from all corners of Ibadan running to her bakery day in, day out. She knew the exact ratios of flour, sugar, salt, a dash of margarine and an oven so finely tuned, the loaves came out the perfect shade every single time; never too light, never too dark and never, ever burnt. My mother, Morenike, alchemizes food; orange-red cauldrons of jollof rice bubbling like the surface of the sun, efo-riro simmering under hot red charcoal, chunks of yam pounded into smooth, seductive morsels. Morenike has a tongue that can single out a missing ingredient with the accuracy of a skilled marksman. I come from women who make things, women who shatter emptiness and fill it with fruit. I am desperate in my desire to do the same.

*

The Yoruba word for a barren woman is only two syllables yet the word is heavy as stone. ÀGÀN. It is the very worst thing that could happen to a woman in my place: to be bereft of children. What I am trying to say is that in my culture, blood is a covering and to be without is to be naked, to be unmoored and to be forgotten. This was my second terror. I knew that blood carries within it the current of memory, the marking of remembrance and the potential for immortality. I do not want to be forgotten.

*

The second time I dream of a woman torn open, I am covered in sweat, delivering a child standing on my two feet with someone beneath me, waiting to catch the baby. My belly is ballooned almost cartoonishly as I wail and wail and wail. Still, if you look closely in my face, there is a quiet pride tattooed in the set of my mouth. After my endometriosis diagnosis, my children began to appear to me in dreams. In lucid musings, in sharp graphic renderings, in moments of unbridled tenderness. It was almost as if something woke up in my body and began to demand its regeneration, to demand that eggs fertilize, that bellies swell, that breasts begin to produce milk. As though compelled by a force strong as gravity, I began to yearn for the heaviness of pregnancy, for the chance to become more than what I already was, for the chance to partake in the ancient rite of my foremothers, to feel myself stretch to the edges of creation and become entirely undone.

*

Sethe in Toni Morrison’s Beloved understood that to be a mother is to know the ugliness of blood, even in the pursuit of salvation. As the slave catchers returned to drag her and her children back to the captivity she risked her life to flee, she fed the ground their blood remaining only the one still suckling; the one whose mouth now knows that the purest milk comes from a nipple stained with blood.

*

In Yorubaland, (and in Nigeria more generally), when a woman has been married for a certain number of years without bringing forth children, there is a weight the people place on her neck. They will say of the woman: ‘O n wa omo’ meaning she is ‘looking’ for children. Infertility therefore is a state of searching, of head buried in corners, hands constantly tilling the soil, unresting and unrested until they unearth the treasure of children. For such a woman, blood becomes mocking, becomes taunting, becomes evidence of her failure. Every month, as bright red flows from beneath her, her mother-in-law’s gaze becomes a beacon of retribution. We knew a woman who looked for a child for seventeen years. When she eventually bore a son she named him Omosegun: the child has won the war. And what is a war if not a dealing in the currency of blood?

*

In her poem, “Between Grace and Mercy,” I.S Jones writes ‘blood is the body’s first covenant’ and as soon as I read that line I understood the look in my mother’s eyes when she was told my womb may not bring forth children. The covenant she made with me, the agreement her body made with mine was about to be truncated. Her terror became mine, just like her curved spinal cord, just like her flat feet, just like her perfectly round face: all things that she passed unto me with the assurance that I would pass them on as well. A covenant. An agreement. A promise that must not be broken.

*

Whenever we speak of my grandmother, we almost always begin with her death because ultimately, it was blood that killed her. One day in my tiny flat in Coralville, I am sorting through some papers when I happen upon a copy of my grandmother’s death certificate. In a season of my life where I hunger deeply to know her, it feels so intimate to have this piece of her life’s story, even if it was the end. The death certificate states her cause of death as: CARDIOPULMONARY FAILURE FROM DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS. A clot of blood, not too dissimilar from what settled itself in my left ovary, settled itself in my grandmother’s leg and slowly and steadily meandered until it placed itself in her heart and caused her blood to stop flowing. She had just been alive: wearing gold and lace and laughing with her children. And then she was not. The abruptness of her leaving marked my mother forever. That her mother never saw her children haunts her till this day, so I know intimately the heft of her desire to see the fruit of her own womb be fruitful. How essential it is to her, to stand where her own mother could not. To do for me what was never done for her.

*

When a Yoruba mother wants to speak over her child a blessing or curse with a heft nobody can shift, she will place both hands on her stomach and say:

‘Emi ni mo dęję le ę lori’
meaning

I am the one who spilled my blood on your head.
I am the one who broke my body open to give you life.
I am the one who risked my life to ensure yours.
It is my blood that made you possible.

All of which means:

We are forever joined in a language that can never die.


MOFIYINFOLUWA O. is a Nigerian writer living between Lagos and Iowa City. Her work is concerned with emotional interiority as experienced by women alongside body, memory, and desire. Her work has appeared in Guernica, The Black Warrior Review, Lolwe, AFREADA, and has been selected as a 2023 Best American Essay Notable Entry. She is a final year nonfiction MFA student at The University of Iowa where she is currently at work on her debut memoir interrogating the body and its relationship with desire.


Want to read more great poetry and prose from Issue 71? Great River Review now offers individual issues for sale. You can purchase a copy of GRR 71, or a number of other back issues, here.


Eye Disease


EYE DISEASE

Charles is sitting in his van counting the money in a special envelope that he keeps tucked under his mattress. He lives out of this van, which he bought years ago, back when things were heading south. He isn’t really homeless, no matter what people say about him. He doesn’t live under a bridge. His trusty van, a Chevy, is both his transportation and his home.

“Fifty-seven, fifty-eight,” he counts softly to himself. He reaches up to adjust the glasses on his nose, to move them to a more comfortable position. “Sixty.” Then he looks down. “Or did I skip one?” He is tired, and he thinks he’s losing track. He needs a cup of coffee. That might clear his head. But coffee is expensive, and it isn’t really necessary. For going on a month, he’s been drinking only water in order to save every dollar that he can. He’s saving up for glasses. He has four pairs, all old; the oldest, he thinks, is over twenty years. They all have something wrong with them.

Charles thought he could get by with them, that he would replace them when things got better in the future. But things never did get better, and in fact, they seem to be getting worse. One by one, all the little things that he relies on to get him through each day, all these things are slowly failing.

Not too many years ago, people used to call him Charlie. That was when he knew people. But he discovered with chagrin that when he became what people thought was homeless, his friends all fell away. The situation was just too awkward. So now he thinks of himself as Charles. Charlie is too familiar, a nickname given by a friend.

Without friends, he has reverted to his quiet, formal self. Not a self with contacts, which he wore for many years, but a self with only glasses. That’s why his glasses are all so old. He didn’t wear them regularly until his stock of contacts ran out two years ago.

When he called the optometrist to see what it would cost for an appointment to get new ones, he had been quoted an outrageous figure. Almost three hundred dollars. And maybe more if something turned out to be wrong or some other test was needed. That’s what the receptionist had told him. And that was just for the appointment. It didn’t include the contacts. So it seems he is stuck with glasses.

He takes off the pair he’s wearing, the pair that is the best, at least from the point of view of seeing. The lenses are still quite clear and not too scratched. The problem is that they hurt him. One of the plastic nose pads has come off, leaving a sharp little piece of metal that rubs against his nose. At first, it just left a red mark, not painful, just a little irritation. But as the months went by, it has become an open wound. And now today, as he takes the glasses off and rubs his nose again, he checks his little shaving mirror and finds it isn’t looking good. The wound is looking rather nasty, ringed with yellow, with blue and black around the edges. Could it be infected? He dabs peroxide on it. The trouble is, he needs to put the glasses on again. He needs to drive today, and he can’t see well with the others.

He drives to a little place called Arizona Eyemart. The store has discount glasses ready, they claim, in just an hour. That means someone there must make them. Which means that maybe someone there can fix them.

When he gets there, he closes all his curtains. He removes his shirt and wipes his body off with a paper towel and a squirt of liquid soap. Then he puts on what he believes to be his cleanest shirt. He gathers all his other glasses and squeezes out through the driver’s seat. The sliding door is broken, and he doesn’t have the cash to fix it.

Outside, the sun is shining brightly. It is unseasonably warm. He goes inside the Eyemart, where a woman at the counter eyes him and at last decides to greet him.

“Can I help you with anything?”

“Can you fix broken glasses?”

“Sometimes. It depends on what it is.”

He sets down all four pairs of glasses, and he shows them to her one by one.

*

Michelle thinks it’s just my luck to get the crazy homeless guy. She takes one look at him, his scruffy face, his dirty shirt, his faded jeans and baseball cap, and she knows that he is homeless. And then when he leans in, she can smell his body odor and the awful smell of rotting teeth.

The glasses that he shows her are ridiculously old. And what he wants is ludicrous. The first pair is only a set of lenses.

“The frame is broken, but the lenses are still in good condition. Can you put them in another frame?”

He obviously has no conception of the modern process of making glasses.

“No, we don’t do that here. I’m sorry.”

The next pair he shows her is taped together at the bridge.

“This one has some sort of coating on the lens, and it’s coming off, you see.”

Sure enough, the coating is flaking off.

“I can’t see well out of these.”

No kidding. But Michelle tries hard to be polite. “No, I imagine not.”

“Can you remove the coating?”

“The coatings are meant to last for several years, but when they start to come off like that, there’s nothing you can do but throw them out.”

The man looks as though he had been slapped.

Michelle taps her fingers restlessly upon the counter.

He pushes a third pair toward her, this one with a missing nose pad.

“Can you repair the nose pad?”

She picks them up and looks at them. “Did you buy these here?”

“No, I got them at some place in California.”

“We can’t fix something like that unless you bought them here.”

And at last the fourth. This pair has a somewhat decent frame, though the style is one that hasn’t been made for almost twenty years.

“The lenses are scratched in these, so bad I can barely see. Can you put new lenses in them?”

“Well, only with a valid prescription. But normally, our technicians don’t work with frames that weren’t purchased here. If we cut a new pair of lenses to fit them, and then something happened when they went to put them in the frame, if the frame broke somehow, you would have to pay for the lenses, which were cut for this pair, and now they can’t go in any other frame.” Michelle forces herself to smile. “So you see, it’s really in your best interest. You could end up paying and getting nothing.”

“So you can’t fix any of them?”

“It doesn’t look that way. But there’s an optometrist right next door. You can get a new prescription and pick out a brand new pair. We have frames starting at just $29.”

“How much is an appointment?”

“I’m not sure. But they’re open now. Someone there can tell you.”

Michelle touches the glasses cases, pushing them slowly toward him. “Do you want these back? Or if you want, I can throw them out.”

The man grabs them up as if they were made of gold. He doesn’t thank her for her help, and she thinks he’s very rude.

*

Shannon sees a hand set down a pair of glasses on the counter. She glances up from her computer. The man who’s standing there turns toward her, and she sees a gaping wound upon his nose. It’s oozing something that looks like a combination of pus and blood.

“Hello. Are you here for an appointment?” The man doesn’t look like he ever had an appointment in all his life.

“I need a new pair of glasses, and I don’t have a prescription. That’s all I need. Not any fancy tests. Just a prescription for the glasses. How much is it for that?”

“We have an opening right now. The appointment is $130 unless you have insurance.”

“Why is it so much? When I all I want is glasses?”

“We can’t just give you a prescription. We have to check for eye disease.”

“I don’t have the money for both the appointment and the glasses.”

“The prescription’s good for an entire year. You could buy the glasses later.”

“But I need them now to see.”

Shannon tries not to roll her eyes. She looks up, but away from him. The blood and pus are really quite disgusting. Is it possible he hasn’t noticed his face is oozing? But maybe he’s so strung out that he simply doesn’t care.

“Do you want the appointment today or not?”

The man doesn’t answer, just slowly turns away and walks out the door.

Thank God, Shannon thinks, as the door clicks shut behind him. At least he didn’t make some kind of scene. These people shouldn’t be allowed in public. Then she sees he left his glasses lying on the counter. She picks them up and turns them over in her hand. They’re ancient, and she notices one of the nose pads on them is missing. It figures. The guy can’t take care of himself, so how could he take care of a pair of glasses? If he got new ones, he would probably only break them.

She starts to throw them in the trash, but then she thinks better of it. He might come back to get them, and if they aren’t here, he might make a scene. She puts them over beside the mail.

*

Dr. Nichols picks up the mail and glances casually through it. Next to it is a pair of strange old-fashioned glasses. He picks them up and looks at them and realizes they’re broken.

“What are these doing here?” he asks Shannon, his assistant.

“Some weird guy came in earlier and left them.”

“Weird?”

“Homeless.”

“What did he want?”

“An appointment for glasses. But I don’t think he had enough money.”

“Well, you can’t help ‘em all, Shannon.”

“No, I guess you can’t.” She glances at his briefcase. “Are you leaving early?”

“Yes, didn’t I tell you?”

“I think you did. I just forgot.”

“I promised my son I would go to his soccer game.” He heads toward the door. “You can close up OK?”

“Oh, I’ll be fine, Dr. Nichols. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Alright then.”

He unlocks the car and puts his briefcase on the passenger seat beside them. Then he realizes he’s still holding the broken glasses. He glances back at the office, but he’s about to be late already, so he simply puts them on the dash.

The traffic is congested as he drives through the tangled mass of restaurants and stores and other businesses. As he nears the suburban neighborhood where he lives, the traffic starts at last to thin. The game is in the local park. He was hoping to stop at home first to change, but it doesn’t look like he’ll have time. He pulls out into the intersection and suddenly everything goes black.

*

When Shawn arrives on the scene of the accident, he sees this one is bad. His partner Janet knows it too. She scrunches up her nose.

“I hate it when they’re fatal.”

He touches her shoulder reassuringly. “I know. Why don’t you question the other driver and the guy who called it in? I’ll talk to the paramedics and see about the victims.”

There are two vehicles involved, a brand new Nissan SUV and a beat-up Chevy van, the kind that people live in. What’s it doing in this neighborhood? It seems rather out of place.

The SUV is totaled, and the driver appears to be already dead. The paramedics are pulling up right now. They’ll want to get him out as soon as possible. As he’s taking down the position of the vehicles, he looks down at all the glass. There’s something there among the shards. He picks it up and finds a pair of glasses. Somehow they made it through the wreck. The lenses aren’t even broken. Just a nose pad missing. An easy fix, he thinks, with one of those little repair kits from the drug store.

The paramedics come over and pronounce the driver dead. The officer walks over to a man in a nearby car.

“Did you see the accident?”

“Yes, I’m the one who called it in.”

“What happened?”

“Well, that van just slammed right into the SUV. It was crazy. He didn’t slow down at all, like he didn’t even see it.”

“What direction did the van come from?”

The guy points. Shawn walks over to the location to see the scene from that perspective, but he doesn’t find it helpful. The sun is in his eyes, and he doesn’t see anything unusual.

Janet’s walking toward him, and he goes to meet her.

“What’s up with the other driver?”

“He’s not all there. I think he’s drunk or something, but I don’t smell alcohol.”

“Maybe drugs or pills. We’ll have to do a blood test.”

“What’s that you’ve got there?”

“Oh, just a pair of glasses. They must have been thrown right through the windshield.”

He twirls the glasses absentmindedly.

“Did you arrest the guy?”

“Should we?”

“Yes, we’d better. As soon as backup gets here, we’ll take him down to the station.”

He goes over to the other driver, a scruffy guy in glasses. Janet cuffs him and puts him in the squad car. She’s a model of efficiency.

There’s nothing really for him to do. He finds the glasses reassuring. It helps to move his hands.

The guy looked somewhat out of it, and he realizes he could hardly make out his eyes. They must have been cloudy. Yes, it must be pills or something.

A horn blares loudly behind him, and Shawn drops the glasses on the pavement. This time they aren’t so lucky. This time the lenses break. He kicks the glasses over toward the shoulder with the rest of the debris before going back to the car to grab his cup of coffee. He hopes it hasn’t gotten cold.

*


JENNIFER HANDY’s fiction has been published in A Plate of Pandemic, MAI: Feminism & Visual Culture, Twisted Vine Literary Arts Journal, and is forthcoming in Flyway: Journal of Writing and Environment.


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